Ready for a few more exercises today, like those found in yesterday’s post Changing Perception to Change Direction?

Today I want you to draw a simple round circle.

This circle will symbolize your self-image. What I mean by self-image is both how you see yourself and how you imagine others see you. The mixture of your strengths and weaknesses.

Now, draw a tiny wedge in the left portion of the circle and shade it in.

That wedge will represent your weaknesses. (See, I knew I couldn’t leave you on your own here or you might have been tempted to split that circle in half. Silly! LOL)

Now… what is your rational mind telling you about your reactions to this picture. To my telling you to draw in just a small wedge representing weaknesses?

What kind of a feeling message is your intuition trying to give you about it?

Can you distinguish between them?

Yeah… most people DO try to argue that the little wedge is too small.

But let’s look deeper.

Do you really believe you can make an accurate assessment of your strengths and weaknesses? Would you say the actual energy expended in thinking about your weaknesses is greater than the energy expended in thinking about your strengths?

Most of us do put more energy and effort into our perceived weaknesses than we put into our perceived strengths.

It really is an energy issue, isn’t it?

Physicists tell us that a magnetic field is created around the flow of electrical energy. Does it seem so surprising that human emotional energy has a similar effect?

Energy we focus on our weaknesses sets up a powerful “magnet like” attraction for problems, obstacles, mistakes and failures. Even… and maybe especially, when we are focused on trying to “fix” our weaknesses so they are no longer a concern.

Do you get that?!?

And of course… it’s just as true that when we focus on our strengths it has the wonderful ‘magnetic’ effect of attracting to us the results we desire.

Do you see the power of, and reason for, focusing on building our strengths?

Defensiveness

Before we talk about defensiveness I want you to get the score you gave yourself around the traits you would most like to change in the next 12 months. (See earlier post mentioned above if you don’t know what I’m talking about)

This is your defensiveness rating. A score of -5 would mean you’re entirely free of defensiveness and you’re putting all of your attention on building your strengths. Don’t be alarmed with any particular score, even if your score is a +5… but if it is you might want to take a serious look at what defensiveness is costing you and how you can change that.

It might be valuable to understand that defensiveness, the phenomenon we associate with energy we put into our weaknesses, is mostly an unconscious, involuntary mental reaction designed to protect us from anticipated feelings of anxiety, discomfort, or pain associated with having our shortcomings exposed.

And yes, all defensiveness is self-induced. Our defensive reactions are triggered within us whenever we decide (no matter how quickly or reflexively that decision is made) that we are at risk of losing-face, or that our competence is in doubt.

You know… it’s that feeling we get whenever we are introduced to someone and immediately forget their name. As soon as we realize it most of us will try in vain to pay attention to the conversation hoping to  pick up the name while trying to not look ridiculous. What on earth prevents us from simply admitting we can’t remember their name?

Defensiveness… a symptom of low self-confidence. One with a price. And what is it costing you?

It certainly makes it difficult to be fully committed, or to accept criticism, resolve conflicts, deal with adversity, accept responsibility, or deal with adversity.

Defensiveness can take a variety of forms like: resentment, lack of initiative, overcompensating, temper, rationalization, etc. And no matter how it shows us it’s always self-defeating.

For one thing, it defeats itself by attracting the very unwanted consequences against which we think we’re protecting ourselves.

Of course, defensiveness starts as soon as we assign negative value to facts.

Yet when you really think about it… facts are simply facts. They’re neutral, unless and until you decide otherwise!

So how do you free yourself of defensiveness?

Let’s remember that all defensiveness is related to the energy we put into our weaknesses – whether we’re trying to shield them or uproot them.

So… let’s expand our perspective here by answering a question.

Can you show me a way to measure darkness?

Now pay attention… I’m specifically asking to be shown a way to measure darkness, not light.

Have you figured out that it’s impossible? There is no way to measure darkness… it’s only possible to measure light… in degrees up from zero.

A similar question… Can you show me a way to measure cold?

These aren’t really ‘trick’ questions, yet again, like darkness there is no way to measure cold. We can only measure the amount of heat in degrees up from absolute zero.

So… are you ready for it?

How do you propose to measure weaknesses?

Seems to me the same principle would have to apply! If there is nothing less than zero then there can be no such thing as a weakness!

How could your life be different when you accept this powerful reality?

Reality only contains degrees of strength How cool is that?!? There is nothing BUT strength to focus on from here on out! Because really, how could anyone have less than a zero level of any given strength?

So now we have a new way to measure… we need to re-calibrate our gauges. (See earlier post) Going back to our control center we now realize that what was initially a -5 now becomes a zero, a former zero now becomes a +5 and the former +5 now becomes a 10.

In other words, a former reading of a -3 now becomes a +2.

Please take the time to go back and review your strengths using this new viewpoint. Recognize that you have no weaknesses… you have a range of strengths of lesser or greater degrees.

You now have an wonderful opportunity to fully accept and enjoy this new awareness that only strengths exist and gain a new freedom from wasting emotional energy on defensive actions.

This may not be an easy change for you to implement… but it is a simple truth. I strongly encourage you to invest the time, patience and self-discipline necessary to make it fully operational in your life.

And remember… what you nurture GROWS and attracts more of itself. Why not go with zero-based strengths starting right now!