Today I’m sharing a recorded segment of Abraham responding to a parents statement that she wants to be the best parent she can be.

I love the wisdom of Abe’s response so along with this YouTube video clip, Parenting in the Vortex,  I’ve included below it an ‘imperfect’ transcript. ;-)

While you might be new to the way we are speaking you’re not new to the resonance of this because the Source within you knows everything we’re giving you here.

Participant: I’d love to talk about parenting in the vortex. I have a 4 year old daughter who is an amazing teacher, I’ve come to realize.

She moves from exhilaration to a complete meltdown in minutes, like all 4 year old’s do. As I was responding negatively today; I’ve learned she’s responding to my negativity.

She said to me, one day when she was about 3, she said, “Mommy, it’s important you stay happy even if I’m unhappy.”

She said, “I want to hear your happy voice.” At that point, before I had learned more, I thought, ‘That is the craziest thing I’ve ever heard! She’s driving me up a wall. How can I be happy?!?’

It was just after that I started learning so much about your teachings that I realized just how right she was.

Abraham: Well, you see, she remembered. She remembered that she comes as a teacher of unconditional love. And in that very moment you were holding her responsible, for the condition she was offering, for your happiness. And she could feel the ‘offness’

And so she just explained to you with clarity, don’t make me responsible for how you feel. That’s the powerful thing she came to teach. We’re glad you heard her.

Participant: I did. I heard it. It took me awhile but I got it. Now it’s amusing; when she has a tantrum I think about that and it’s a good reminder.

Abraham: Well, she wasn’t only trying to let you off the hook. She was trying to let herself off the hook too. in other words, next time she has a tantrum, remember what she said but when you have one, remember what she said.

In other words, give yourself permission to have a tantrum too. You have step one moments too. It’s not just the little ones that get them. The little ones really have fewer of them.

The difference is, when a little one gets out of the vortex, the difference between how they’re accustomed to feeling and how they are feeling, is so stark they can hardly bear it. That’s why you describe it as a meltdown. It’s excruciating.

Where, the longer you live, the more you learn to be tolerant of that discomfort and you learn to behave in the middle of your tantrums. So instead of expressing them outward, you just destroy yourself inward.

It’s sort of like hitting your thumb with a hammer and not screaming. A normal person would scream. It’s weird not to scream. But screaming is not polite in some conditions so you just hold it in and don’t express it outward where the little ones just openly express it outward because it feels awful.

That’s another wonderful thing to learn from them. When you’re not in the vortex, scream.

This is the point we’re making – accept the anomoly of being out of the vortex. Don’t accept it’s just the way life is.

Don’t accept that. It’s NOT the way life is. And it’s not the way life is supposed to be and it’s not the way you’re supposed to feel.

It’s off. It’s Off. It’s OFF and it’s alright for you to say THIS IS OFF! I WANT NOT THIS!

Whew… there. Now I feel better. I’ll go back into the vortex.

But when you don’t give yourself permission to have a step one moment, well, that just prolongs it.

Participant: I want to be the best parent I can possibly be.

Abraham: Then mind your own business. And tend to your own vortex. And let her do the same. Teach through your ‘vortex example’ not through your words.

Participant: So when she launches about 200 rockets of desire every hour, sometimes, and she’s in this phase of wanting this… in some ways it’s so great because she’s so creative and expressive, and then I struggle with not wanting to be constantly telling her ‘no’ but she’s a 4 year old and I can’t give her everything she wants so…

Abraham: You’re not the vortex through which everything she wants flows.

The other day Jerry and Esther had the pleasure of meeting a little boy who they’d met before but they’d spent a little more time with him on one of the cruises. He brought his magic tricks to their cabin to demonstrate them. So they had fun watching his magic tricks and then Jerry and Esther had a little gift for him so Esther gave him the gift and she had tucked a little money into the gift.

As he opened it he was much more delighted with the money than the gift, which is often the case, and then Esther got an idea that since they were doing magic she would just borrow his magic wand and produce more money.

Which sounded, at first, like a pretty good idea.

So she tapped the wand and some money came sprouting out. And he said, “Do it again!”

And Esther thought, ‘Hmmm, this is a very interesting dilemma’ so she tapped the want again and more money came out.

He jumped with delight and said, “Do it again.”

Now he has a lot of money, which didn’t matter to Esther but she realized she’d set something off so she said, “You know that we are playing here? And that this money is happening because I like it to happen for you.”

And he said, “I know. Do it again”

So Esther realized that he wasn’t playing the magic game at all anymore. He was playing ‘I want money. You’ve got money. And when I say “do it again” you give me more’ game.

So Esther had reached her limit because she realized that she was now teaching something that she meant not to teach. She wanted to have fun and she wanted to be playful but she did not want to distort anything so she said, “I think that’s all the magical money that is going to appear.”

And he said, “I want more”

and Esther said, “I love it that you want. I love it that you want.” And the boy looked at her expectantly and she said, “I just love it that you want and how your desire will bring you what you want from a lot of places.” And Esther was done. And he knew it.

In other words, she focused on the perfection of his desire but removed her responsibility from being the avenue through which it would flow.

Participant: Oh, I love that.

Abraham: It required focus but he knew it. In other words, once she lined up with the principle that ‘I am not the vortex through which all of this will flow but your desire is a wonderful thing’ he knew she was done. Because you see, people become confused.

If you make their desire wrong you’re out of sync with the laws of the Universe.

If you make yourself responsible to be the vortex through which it all flows you’re out of sync with the laws of the Universe.

But when you get it that it’s RIGHT for them to want, and you root for their desire and you praise them for the detail of their desire and you harmonize with their desire and encourage them to speak of what they want, then you’re in sync with the laws of the Universe…

and at the same time as you acknowledge that ‘some of what you want will actually flow through me and much of what you want will come through many other avenues and won’t it be fun to see through which avenues the things flow’, they will discover a very satisfying independence from you being the vortex through which it flows.

Participant: That is exactly it! That is exactly what I’m looking for because that’s being the best parent I can be.

Abraham: Being the best parent you can be means understanding that their desire can bring them whatever they want. And that their alignment is necessary and you are not responsible for their alignment. But you can be a demonstrator of your own alignment.

That’s the best a parent can be, a consistent, constant demonstrator of being in your own vortex.