I’ve been watching a fairly new program on Sunday nights on CBS… it’s called Undercover Boss. If you’re unfamiliar with the show it’s one of those ‘reality’ things where the President or CEO of a major company, spends a week ‘undercover’ working a variety of jobs within their company at various locations.

As the show nears the end of the hour, the employees that interacted with the (previously unknown to them) undercover ‘head honcho’ find themselves asked to appear at the home office where the head of the company reveals his true identity to them and gives them feedback about what he discovered and experienced.

There is something remarkable that is commonly experienced by all the employees, regardless of the company… they are overwhelmed with appreciation for BEING HEARD and actually LISTENED TO by this individual in authority. Honestly… it’s the FIRST and often the only thing they talk about when interviewed later. That someone took the time to listen and actually validate their opinions and input was clearly the most valuable part of the experience for them.

Do you realize how true this is for your kids, too?!?

Kids have opinions… lots of them. And I know you might be saying, “yes, and my child freely offers hers all the time!” But let me ask you a question… Do you frequently ask for their opinion?

I’m not just talking about their opinion about what you should have for dinner or what color they would like to paint their bedroom.  I’m suggesting that you ask their opinion about everything and anything.

You know, you’re engaged in a conversation with your spouse or friend while driving in the car and you start talking about the new healthcare plan the government has just passed… do you turn around and include the kids in the conversation? Or do you assume they have no opinion?

Or maybe during dinner the grownups start having a discussion about whether or not your community needs a new stadium for professional sports and whether or not the funding should come from the community. Do you take the time to ask your child’s opinion? And if so, do you really take the time to listen to their input?

Encouraging conversation and listening like it matters will have an amazing effect on your child in many ways.

Want to know how to talk to kids? You talk WITH kids! About anything and everything!

Life happens in conversation.

Conversation provides more than an opportunity to exchange information…  practiced frequently it becomes a productive platform for sharing differing opinions, gaining clarity about what we think and feel, expanding vocabulary, and validating each person as someone worth listening to carefully.

When you take the time to create opportunities for conversation about a variety of topics with your kids on a daily basis, you’ll find it much easier to get into conversation with them about the things that other parents often find ‘touchy’ or uncomfortable in some way.

When I was doing childcare in my home I had a whiteboard in the kitchen. We used it for a variety of things but one thing that was particularly fun was the ‘Question of the Day’.

We’d take turns posting the questions… they were often in the form of “If…” and they always invited OPINIONS. For instance, “If you had to rename your hometown what would you name it?” or “If you could wake up tomorrow to learn that the major newspaper headlines were about you, what would you want them to say?”. Sometimes it would be about a local news item or an issue that came up for someone at school. Regardless of what the question was… if you were old enough to talk, you were encouraged to share you opinion. (Actually, many babbling opinions were shared as well… and let me tell you, the translations were interesting. LOL)

I learned so many things about the children in my life (and myself) from these kinds of conversations that I would probably have missed without them. I invite you to do the same… have and enjoy rich conversation with your kids…

Teach them how to listen… by LISTENING! ;-)