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This morning I was reading an opinion piece by Garrison Keillor titled Don’t Mess with Christmas.

It’s subtitle is “It’s a Christian holiday, dammit, and it’s plain wrong to rewrite “Silent Night.” Unitarians, I’m talking to you!”

No surprise it stirred up a bit of controversy and defensiveness. Yet as I was reading the comments I found myself wondering what could possibly bother people about this one man’s opinion about the Christian holiday called Christmas. And this led to a few more questions and ‘wonderings’ about our capacity to agree to disagree. Like… is it the issue itself that complicates how easily we can agree to disagree? Or how close our relationship with the person disagreeing with us? Or a combination of many things?

Let’s look at our relationship with our kids, for instance. What comes up for you around agreeing to disagree with your child. Where do you draw lines?

I suspect when it concerns things like color preferences, whether it’s our six year old or our sixteen year old, we can probably easily find ourselves agreeing to disagree. But what about, say, when it’s a difference in our tastes for clothing? (note: I’m thinking in terms of ‘style’ rather than the optional/non-optional preferences ;-)) Where do some issues crop up for you where you insist on getting your way regardless of your child’s expressed preference?

Do you question and explore what’s going on for you in each scenario?

Are you willing to be honest with yourself, first, and your child, second, about what your fears are when you find yourself struggling with the idea of simply agreeing to disagree with your child?

I’ve learned that with a willingness to peel back the layers and take an honest look at my need for agreement… I discovered a smoother ride on the road to living with children. Because those ‘truths’ that I hold with unshakable, calm certainty  don’t require any agreement in order for the ‘truth’ to hold… and anything else is just a story I’m making up from my fears.

Happy Holidays whatever they be for you!

~~Mary K