“In your effort at motivation, because you are focused upon what you DO NOT want, you do not have the benefit or help of your true power.

But when you are focused completely upon what you DO want – thereby releasing all resistance or opposition to your own desire – you are engaging the Energy that creates worlds, and your power of influence is mighty. In your connection to, and allowance of, your true power, your influence to bring others into their own power is great.”

The Vortex, Esther and Jerry Hicks
The Teachings of Abraham

Have you ever pondered the distinction between motivation and inspiration?

For a long time I’ve personally held an image in my head of motivation being like a hand in the middle of my back pushing me forward. Inspiration is like a strong silver thread coming from my heart and pulling me forward.

Inspiration feels FAR better to me. And I’ve noticed, in life in general as well as in my work with children, that inspiring others to action consistently reaps far better results than trying to motivate someone.

So I loved hearing the wise ‘teacher’ Abraham (http://Abraham-Hicks.com) explain that with motivation the predominant focus is on what you do NOT want and with inspiration the predominant focus is on what you DO want.

So think about that in terms of your relationship with your child/ren and if you’re not already paying attention to whether or not you focus most of your attention on behavior you DON’T want or behavior you DO want it might be worth your effort to start noticing.

Some parents are surprised to discover that they aren’t even clear themselves about what they DO want.

Pause a minute and see if you can FEEL the difference between the two comments related to the given scenario…

The family room is a mess, filled with a variety of clutter from various family members that has accumulated over the past day or two. Your child has just come home and wants to show you a new dance they were working on but due to the clutter the odds of tripping and falling are high.

One inspiring response may be:

“Wouldn’t it be nice if we always put our things where they belong so you had the space to show me the dance right now? I’d love to see it, maybe you can even teach it to me? Let’s clear away this stuff first.”

[Here the focus is on the appreciation of cleared space, your child's interest in sharing with you and your interest in the new learning and the dance.]

One motivating response may be:

“This place is a mess, you’ll fall and break your leg. Maybe we need a new storage method for our stuff but that’s not going to happen today. How about if I pay you a dollar to clean up this messy room and you can show me the dance tonight”

[Here the focus is on the clutter and your dissatisfaction with it, leading you to start problem solving from the perspective of what you don't want which ignores the enthusiasm your child came in the door with when they were inspired to share what they learned.]

Can you feel the difference? I promise your child can!

There is nothing really ‘wrong’ with either response. Yet when you understand the way energy works in this vibrational Universe of ours, you definitely want to consider keeping your focus on what you DO want and from there… inspire everyone in your house to take action that serves all.