I’ve been doing some spring cleaning (what??!?!?) and ran across several notebooks that I would journal in when my boys were very young. One was titled: 

Notes to my children.

I hope I remembered to share some of these things out loud with them frequently on their journey to the strange world of ‘adulthood’. Today I’ll share a few of them with you. Please share a note or two that you would like to give your child.

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I want to know WHO you want to be. A lot of people are going to ask you WHAT you want to be… and I’m far more curious about who you want to be, and I hope you will be too.  So tell me please, when I ask you today…

Who do you want to be when you grow up?

Don’t worry about having a ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ answer to this question. Consider being flexible enough to refine your answer every day. So when I ask you again tomorrow… let your answer be brand new.

I really have no attachment to what you want to do with your time, for pleasure or money or learning… but I really hope you’ll take some time to decide who you want to be. Because when you successfully become WHO you want to become… everything else were work out just fine. So BE your own WHO the best you can be… I’ll keep loving you no matter what!

love,
Mom

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Have I reminded you today that you can be who ever you want… and do whatever you’d like?  YOU CAN! Now, I have a hunch that lots of grownups will tell their children that… yet it seems those same grownups don’t really believe themselves. I’m here to tell you that it’s true. I’m not just saying so… I know it’s so!

And the truth is the truth is the truth. If you truly desire and believe it and you’ll follow the guidance that speaks from your heart…  then you can accomplish, become and do anything! (and even if your mother says otherwise… listen to your own inner guidance and gently ignore her) After all… I’ll keep loving you anyway! Mom

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Did I tell you that we are Weinhagens and Weinhagen’s tell the truth, even when it’s uncomfortable? And we say ‘please’ when we ask and ‘thank you’ when we receive and ‘excuse me’ when we didn’t mean to be MEAN! (and if you MEAN to be mean we’ll definitely be having a conversation about that too!) And we celebrate our own and others successes. And I’m sure there will be hundreds of other things you discover about being a Weinhagen. Some of those things won’t make any sense at all. And others will make perfect sense. But most of all Weinhagen’s stay open to ‘what works and feels better’… so when you see it can be improved upon, you will improve it.

And p.s. — we love! That just makes good sense all the time. I love you. Mom

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I hope you realize we’ll talk frequently about sex and drugs, and heck, even rock and roll. (You probably won’t understand that line… you’re a different generation, that’s okay, I get to be weird just like you!)

What I’m trying to say is that you’re free to talk about anything and everything. School will teach you a few things, but you’ll find it a relatively small part of your education. So let’s talk about appropriate behavior in a wide variety of situations so when you’re up against the wall and have to make a decision you won’t be left with only the pressure of your peers or current cultural morals. You’ll have a better idea of who you want to be if you know what your choices are… remember, you always have plenty of choices. Some will just leave you with consequences you enjoy, some will leave you with consequences you don’t enjoy. You won’t always know ahead of time, but it sure won’t hurt us to ponder the potentials.

Of course, I have no choice about loving you… it’s like breathing, I just DO!

love,
Mom

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Please, please, please don’t let our culture define your potential! This world’s a crazy place and it seems ludicrous but we live in a society that tries to define for us what success is – or ‘should’ be. Don’t ‘should’ on yourself no matter how much pressure is put on you by the media, or the school system, or even me.

No one but YOU can really measure your success. How could they? They don’t even know the desires of the real you?

Your success is NOT determined by a job title, a degree you obtain, a school you attended, a company you work for, the size of your bank balance, the friends of your friends or the kind of car you might drive… or fly… or however you travel when you grow up.

None of that stuff determines your ability to create, have ideas, start a business, or be successful! Your potential is within YOU, it can only be defined individually, by YOU and it is limitless! If you feel compelled in any way to be the best at one thing here’s what I suggest – be the BEST at being happy! And no matter what you choose… I’ll always love you.

love,
Mom